The rivers Quaggy and Ravensbourne flow north from Bromley, London, converging near the Lewisham tube station before emptying into the Thames just east of Greenwich. Beyond their material flows and ecologies these rivers are connected in another, less obvious way: through the environmental, social, and governance (ESG) metrics and green financial entanglements of one of Canada’s largest public sector pension funds. Against the backdrop of the UKs current water crisis, this paper explores the contradictions and tensions that arise from these two very different forms of confluence. I argue that this case is illustrative of how power flows through the scalar politics of ESG. Through the logic of the metric, ecologies are fragmented and hyper-localized. This process facilitates the redefinition and reassembly of the environment and its “care” as constitutive of the green and ethical portfolio. Yet, paradoxically, it simultaneously and relentlessly redirects the gaze towards the aspirational, future-oriented and fragmented lines of the environmental metric and away from the broader political ecology of the portfolio in the here and now.